Archive | November, 2013

Woman Attacked in ATM : Indians rush to get QR codes

20 Nov


19-Nov-2013 :  In the early hours of the morning a 38 year old lady was attacked and grievously injured in an ATM.The CCTV footage, though grainy, clearly show a middle aged man wearing a blue and checked shirt assaulting the woman with a machete.  The city police are confident of arresting the man based on the photographic evidence.


The Home Minister in replying to media persons has agreed that safety of the citizens should be of highest priority and towards this end circulated a draft ordinance which detailed the procedure in which every person in the state will have a unique QR code tattooed on his or her forehead.  This will make it easy to identify the assailants in the future.  He also said that Sri Bandan Bilekani has kindly consented to lead this effort.  The QR code allotment and tattooing will be taken up on a war footing and will be completed within a record time of fifty years.  The expenses of the first year Rupees One Lakh Crore (Rs.1,00,00,000,00,00,000/-)has already been released for this purpose.  In parallel the best science institute in the country has started research on how to make the tattoo’s visible on the generally dark complexion of locals.  The possibility of fairness creams or white ink tattoos is being examined.


The attack in this blog is true though the rest is fiction.  As you obviously know.


On a serious note : Yes, making fun of a woman in trouble is not humor rather it is bad taste.  But in this case it is really helplessness.  How often have you seen policemen in Bangalore hiding behind trees to collect black/white fines from motorists instead of managing traffic?  Where are the police, enforcement machinery, etc. when you need them?  Unfortunately life is and will continue to be cheap in India – there are a billion more so no worries!

Sachin Tendulkar Retires …

17 Nov


Yesterday, Sachin Tendulkar, the God of Cricket Retired. He saluted the pitch which provided him with almost everything, most importantly money / food / fame, for the past 24 years.  Now he has the well earned luxury of doing whatever he wants to do, watch-the-paint-dry, watch-his-children-grow, cook, commentate, whateverelse.

But for the rest of us who are the same age the question is will we ever be able to afford retirement.  Even the so called well paid “techies” or “software engineers” – can we ever retire?  Or will we be the followers of the poster boy of working for ever Amitabh Bachchan?  Even if we are willing to work will we have the jobs considering there is a rising number of senior (i.e., age 40+) engineers being forced into retirement.  They do not get jobs may be because their skills are now outdated and the employer is unwilling to invest in retraining them; may be they have become set in their ways and need mentoring to break the mould; may be they are willing to take lower-lever or lesser-paying positions but none are being offered to them … These are the ones who have nobody to champion their cause – no trade unions, no politicians, nobody!


There is also the insecurity of the savings corpus being insufficient considering the ever rising inflation, longevity and health care costs.  This is the curse of India’s GenX.

Thank You for the Memories Sachin

15 Nov


Hi Sachin,

Today when you walked off the field for the last time, taking a bow all round the stadium did you have tears in your eyes?  I sure had in mine.  Being a person of the same age I have followed your career since childhood.  In the early childhood years it was the pride of somebody my age playing with the big guys 🙂 cocking a snoot at the elders in some sense.  In the later teens and early twenties your success was about looking up to you; about what a person of my age could achieve with hard work.  In mid life it is about  awe, about saluting the colossal achievements, about recognizing that such success is not for everybody but for a chosen few one.  Today as you retire it is looking up to one who has fulfilled his calling, made his money, secured his future and SUCCEEDED – something very few of us have achieved at your age.

You are an extremely talented, successful and talented cricketer.  You have given us a lot of pleasure, memories to cherish, bragging rights “I watched it”, “I am his contemporary”.  But the most important aspect about you that stands out is your humility, how your presence commands respect, how the enormous success sits lightly on your shoulders.  If there is anything I would like to attempt is to copy being humble – as you are.

Thanks Sachin, for everything.  All good things, including a Sachin Tendulkar career, has to come to an end.  But then the memories will live for ever.

– A ardent fan.


9 Nov

As my regular readers already know I work in software.  Just thought of sharing a long ago experience.

One of my testers had filed a bug with very little information.  Obviously something had misbehaved; but there was no way of either reproducing it (the steps were not noted) nor tracing the logic (i.e., no traces stored).  So I told the tester that if you do monkey testing then it will be very difficult for me to provide a suitable explanation or fix.  I need some inputs apart from “I saw something”.  Next day I get called into my bosses office asking for an explanation of why I called a colleague a “monkey”.  After explanation the issue was resolved.

So, what is monkey testing?  It is usually used to test GUI’s where in there is a software that will enter random data in text boxes and click random links/buttons.  Every input, character type or mouse click, is logged into a file.  When any bug is found the same is logged along with the log-file.  The developer then looks into the log, finds the root cause of the problem, and provides a fix.

It turns out that my colleague and my boss were not familiar with the term and hence I had to provide a red-faced explanation!!  A classic misunderstanding if there was one.

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