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What if : Arvind Kejriwal instead of Modi was on Googles #Top10Criminal list

4 Jun

Recently Google put it’s foot in the mouth by listing the democratically elected Prime Minister of the largest democracy in the world in the #Top10Criminal list.  It appears that random insinuations are sufficient to get on this list and small detail about being cleared of all charges in all courts of law don’t count.  While Prime Minister Modi shrugged of the list – as it deserved to be – here’s what would have happened if the Chief Minister of Delhi Arvind Kejriwal was on the list.

1. Dharna in front of Google office – Gheraoing the poor employees who go there to earn a measly salary.
2. Bijli / Paani cut off from Google office.
3. Police deployed to monitored the crowd berated for taking instructions from LG.
4. Encouraging the recently fired for performance Google employee to hang from the tree.
5. Midnight raid / sting operation on Google’s top execs to check what exactly they are doing inside their homes.

No wonder there is no Google office in Delhi.

 

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This is meant to be a piece of satire – and the list above is NOT real.

Woman Attacked in ATM : Indians rush to get QR codes

20 Nov

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19-Nov-2013 :  In the early hours of the morning a 38 year old lady was attacked and grievously injured in an ATM.The CCTV footage, though grainy, clearly show a middle aged man wearing a blue and checked shirt assaulting the woman with a machete.  The city police are confident of arresting the man based on the photographic evidence.

crosseye

The Home Minister in replying to media persons has agreed that safety of the citizens should be of highest priority and towards this end circulated a draft ordinance which detailed the procedure in which every person in the state will have a unique QR code tattooed on his or her forehead.  This will make it easy to identify the assailants in the future.  He also said that Sri Bandan Bilekani has kindly consented to lead this effort.  The QR code allotment and tattooing will be taken up on a war footing and will be completed within a record time of fifty years.  The expenses of the first year Rupees One Lakh Crore (Rs.1,00,00,000,00,00,000/-)has already been released for this purpose.  In parallel the best science institute in the country has started research on how to make the tattoo’s visible on the generally dark complexion of locals.  The possibility of fairness creams or white ink tattoos is being examined.

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The attack in this blog is true though the rest is fiction.  As you obviously know.

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On a serious note : Yes, making fun of a woman in trouble is not humor rather it is bad taste.  But in this case it is really helplessness.  How often have you seen policemen in Bangalore hiding behind trees to collect black/white fines from motorists instead of managing traffic?  Where are the police, enforcement machinery, etc. when you need them?  Unfortunately life is and will continue to be cheap in India – there are a billion more so no worries!

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