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How to deal with Odd/Even madness

4 Dec

1.  Double the number of cars you own and ensure that you have an odd/even number on the cars.  RTO can make money by charging extra for the odd/even plates.
2. Buy extra parking slot for the new car.
3. Used cars rates will increase – who can bear the cost of the new car.
4. Corporates will provide two cars as perks.
5. Govt organizations can buy a hoard of cars inorder to honour the new rule and make money in this mega buy.
6.  RTO can come up with a new scheme wherein you can buy just an extra number plate for your car.  Just 1 lakh only.
7.  More hafta to be collected; do u have license – yes; do you have insurance – yes; do you have emission check – yes; do u have the correct number – no – that will be 100Rs without receipt sir.
8. People can start buying more 2 wheelers – more people can die on the roads.  Don’t more 2 wheeler riders die in accidents; atleast 2 wheelers are more risky.
9.  An ambulance with a patient at 2 in the midnight will pull on the side of the road to change vans.
10.  Buy auto instead of car.

11. Convert your car to a taxi – get a yellow plate.  That is the most realistic and cheaper solution.

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Happy Independence day : What independence should NOT mean.

15 Aug

1. Freedom to neglect one’s own children.  We need a child protection law just like US wherein errant parents should be brought to book and the children be given to better homes for a good bringup.
2. Freedom to restrict the curiosity of your child. Curiosity is precious – it is very difficult, rather impossible, to rekindle once lost.
3. Freedom to bite the hand that feeds, adults who don’t care for the hands that made them independent adults.
4. Freedom for polygamy/polyandry irrespective or relegious sanction.
5. Freedom to use loud instruments at odd hours.  Mosques use it inspite of court orders against it.

The captured terrorist from Pakistan should be sent back to Pakistan without any trial because …

6 Aug

1. Because he claims to be a juvenile (it is possible to prove age via medical means does not matter).
2. It will be good for India-Pak relations.
3. He is mentally unsound – otherwise why would he have been caught in the first place.
4. He is only a pawn in the bigger picture.  Not much is achieved by hanging the small fish.
5. By hanging him for waging war against the nation we are not being secular.
6. There is not enough evidence to prove that he killed – the people who died due to his attacks are unable to appear in court and recognize him.
7.  One of the wounded survivors was confused and couldn’t recognize him once; when the survivor was heavily sedated by pain killers.
8.  He is a POW; isn’t LeT etc waging war against India?  We are bound by the Vienna convention.
9.  Think of the money all of us can make if he features in a movie (preferably by Mahesh Bhatt – please sir, humor us) based on a few facts of his life and many sympathetic facts of fiction.
10. Barkha Dutt can get a Nobel Peace Prize by shrill preaching for this loveable bloke on NDTV.  This will really do India proud – come think of it.  Even Mahatma Gandhi couldn’t get a Nobel for Peace.

Let us play cricket with Pakistan instead.

 

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The contents of this post is meant to be satire and is indeed virtual reality.  You already knew that – didn’t you?

Proud to belong to the World’s Largest Democracy – INDIA

31 Jul

bharathmata

1. Sri Narendra Modi is our prime minister. Born to a backward community barely middle class parents, his father had a tea stall at a railway station and he himself sold tea on the platforms. Out of his own capabilities – he is now the Prime Minister of India. This is a slap on the presstitutes who refuse to see that caste system does not exist on the ground – it exists only in the hallowed TV studios.

2. Sri Abdul Kalam our former president and top sceintist. Born as one among many siblings in a poor family in Rameshwaram rose to the highest posts both scientifically and politically. It is sad that this man is not seen as the face of the aspirations of Indian Muslims; rather we are feteing the Owaisi’s.

3. Sri B.R.Ambedkar a scion of the backward classes was encouraged and mentored by a forward class teacher who even gave him his name. The success of this man is not only a win for India’s democracy but also for the caste system which is not as stringent as the shrill political voices would want us to believe. It is indeed a traversity that today Ambedkar is only remembered for coming up as from a backward community totally forgetting the seamless inter-working between higher and lower castes. Further the mentor Ambedkar is not given the due recognition only the pupil Ambedkar is recognized.

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