How to deal with Odd/Even madness

4 Dec

1.  Double the number of cars you own and ensure that you have an odd/even number on the cars.  RTO can make money by charging extra for the odd/even plates.
2. Buy extra parking slot for the new car.
3. Used cars rates will increase – who can bear the cost of the new car.
4. Corporates will provide two cars as perks.
5. Govt organizations can buy a hoard of cars inorder to honour the new rule and make money in this mega buy.
6.  RTO can come up with a new scheme wherein you can buy just an extra number plate for your car.  Just 1 lakh only.
7.  More hafta to be collected; do u have license – yes; do you have insurance – yes; do you have emission check – yes; do u have the correct number – no – that will be 100Rs without receipt sir.
8. People can start buying more 2 wheelers – more people can die on the roads.  Don’t more 2 wheeler riders die in accidents; atleast 2 wheelers are more risky.
9.  An ambulance with a patient at 2 in the midnight will pull on the side of the road to change vans.
10.  Buy auto instead of car.

11. Convert your car to a taxi – get a yellow plate.  That is the most realistic and cheaper solution.

Trust: Black and White or shades of grey?

4 Dec

She:  Hmm… I don’t think this is white.

He:  How dare you call this pitch black – do you think I am color blind?

——————————

I recently came across such a conversation between two mature (seemingly?) adults.  What would you say about it?  Is it a misunderstanding?  Or is the difference in perception so colossal that “misunderstanding” does not even start describing the difference?

 

What can be the reason for this huge difference?  Is it lack of trust?  Or is it something more sinister??

5 mistakes/improvements-required in rangitaranga

4 Dec

1.  Does a heavily pregnant lady travel from a city to a remote village, esp when the need to travel is not urgent?
2.  Did you notice the journalist climbing the ghats & crossing rope bridge in high heels?
3.  Who is aware of and narrates the story of Anasuya Bhat and Angaara?
4.  Wouldn’t it have aided the quality of the movie if the dates of the mishaps aligned with lunar calendar, amavasya (new moon) was better suited to the narrative.
5.  A better representation of yakshagana (may be a full song) would have added to the feel of the movie.

ಮೊದಲ ರಾತ್ರಿ

4 Dec

ಇಂದಿನ ಧೃತರಾಷ್ಟ್ರ ಮತ್ತು ಗಾಂಧಾರಿ

ಧೃತರಾಷ್ಟ್ರ ಒಬ್ಬ ಸಾಮಾನ್ಯ ಮಧ್ಯಮ ವರ್ಗದ ಯುವಕ ಯಥಾ ಪ್ರಕಾರ ಇಂಜಿನಿಯರಿಂಗ್ ಮುಗಿಸಿ ಬೆಂಗಳೂರಿನ ಹೊರವಲಯದಲ್ಲಿರುವ ಎರಡು ಕಾಸು ಸಂಬಳ ಕೊಡುವ ಸಾಫ್ಟ್ವೇರ್ ಫ್ಯಾಕ್ಟರಿಗೆ ಜೀತದಾಳಾಗಿ ಸೇರಿಕೊಂಡ.  ಒಂದೆರಡು ವರ್ಷದ ಜೀತದ ನಂತರ ಇವನ ಕೆಲಸ ಮೆಚ್ಚಿದ ಮಾಲೀಕರು ಜೀತ ಮಾಡಲು ಮಾಯಾ ನಗರಿ ಅಮೇರಿಕಕ್ಕೆ ಕಲಿಸಿದುರು.  ಆರು ತಿಂಗಳ ನಂತರ ಹೆತ್ತವರ ಒತ್ತಾಯದ ಮೇಲೆ ಊರಿಗೆ ಬಂದು ಹಲವಾರು ಸುಂದರ ಹುಡುಗಿಯರನ್ನು ಸಂದರ್ಶಿಷಿ ಒಬ್ಬ ವಿದ್ಯಾವಂತ ರೂಪವತಿಯನ್ನು ವಿವಹವಾದ.  ಅವರ ಮೊದಲ ರಾತ್ರಿಯ ಸಂಭಾಷಣೆ ಹೇಗಿತ್ತು.

ಧೃತರಾಷ್ಟ್ರ : ಹಾ ಪ್ರಿಯೆ ನೀನೆಂಥ ರೂಪವತಿ ಮತ್ತು ವಿದ್ಯಾವಂತೆ, ನಾನು ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ನಿನ್ನ ವಿವಾಹವಾಗಿದ್ದು.   ನಾನಂತೂ ಸಾಫ್ಟ್ವೇರ್ ಜೀತ ಮಾಡುತೇನೆ ಅಂದ್ರೇ ಬಹಳ ಬೆಲೆಯುಳ್ಳ ಗಂಡು.  ನಾನು ನಿನ್ನ ವಿವಾಹವಾಗಿದ್ದು ನಿನ್ನ ಪುಣ್ಯವೇ ಸರಿ. ನೀನು ನನಗಾಗಿ ಏನು ಮಾಡುತ್ತೀಯ?
ರೂಪವತಿ ಗಾಂಧಾರಿ:  ಪ್ರಿಯಾ ನೀವು ತುಂಬಾ ಒಳ್ಳೇ ಗಂಡು ಅನ್ನೋದು ಸರಿ.  ನನಗೆ ನಿಮ್ಮಂತ ಗಂಡ ಸಿಕ್ಕೊರೋದು ನನ್ನ ಪುಣ್ಯವೇ ಸರಿ.  ಆದ್ರೆ ನಾನೂ ವಿದ್ಯಾವಂತೆ ಒಳ್ಳೆಯ ಕೆಲಸದಲ್ಲಿ ಇದ್ದೀನಿ, ಕೈತುಂಬಾ ಸಂಬಳ ತರುತ್ತೇನಿ. ಹಾಗಾಗಿ ನಾನು ನಿಮಗೆ ತಕ್ಕಂತ ಮತ್ತು ಸರಿಯಾದ ಜೋಡಿಯೆಂದು ಭಾವಿಸಿದ್ದೀನಿ. ನಿಮಗೆ ನನ್ನಂತ ಹೆಂಡತಿ ಸಿಕ್ಕಿರೋದು ನಿಮ್ಮ ಪುಣ್ಯ ಅಲ್ವ?
ಧೃತರಾಷ್ಟ್ರ:  ನಿನಗೆ ನಾನು ಸಿಕ್ಕಿರೋದು ಪುಣ್ಯ ಅಂತ ಒಪ್ಪಿಕೊಂದ್ಯಲ್ಲ  ಹಾಗಾದ್ರೆ ಹೇಳು ನೀನು ನನಗಾಗಿ ಏನು ಮಾಡುತೀಯ?
ಗಾಂಧಾರಿ: (ಕೊಂಚ ಹುಬ್ಬು ಗಂಟು ಹಾಕಿಕೊಂಡು) ನಿಮಗೆ ಏನು ಬೇಕು ಕೇಳಿ?
ಧೃತರಾಷ್ಟ್ರ: ನನಗಾಗಿ ನೀನು ಎರಡು ಕಣ್ಣುಗಳನ್ನೂ ತೆಗಎದುಕೊಳ್ಳುವೆಯಾ?
ಗಾಂಧಾರಿ: (ತುಂಬಾ ಕೋಪಗೊಂಡು) #$@!%&^@ ನಾನು ನಿಮಗೆ ಏನನ್ನೂ ಕೊಡುವುದಿಲ್ಲ.  ನನಗೆ ತುಂಬಾ ನಿದ್ದೆ ಬರ್ತಾ ಇದೇ ಮಲಕ್ಕೊತೀನಿ.
ಧೃತರಾಷ್ಟ್ರ: ಕೋಪವೇಕೆ ಮದುಕೊಳ್ಳುವೆ ಪ್ರಿಯೆ, ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಚೌಕಾಶಿ ಮಾಡೋಣ.  ಒಂದು ಕಣ್ಣದ್ರೊ ಕೊಡುವೆಯಾ?
ಗಾಂಧಾರಿ : ನಾನು ಏನೂ ಕೊಡುವುದಿಲ್ಲ ಮಲಗಿಕೊಳ್ಳಿ.
ಧೃತರಾಷ್ಟ್ರ: (ಕೋಪ ತಾರಕ್ಕೇರಿ) ನಿನ್ನಂತಾ ಹುಡುಗಿಯರಿಗೆ ಕೊಬ್ಬು ಜಾಸ್ತಿ, ನಾನು ಅರ್ಧ ಕೆಳಗಿಳಿದರು ನೀನು ಒಂದು ಹೆಜ್ಜೆ ನನ್ನಂತೆ ಇಡುವುದಿಲ್ಲ.  #ಎ$@@

Tippu Sultan Jayanthi – Was it required Mr.Siddaramiah.

11 Nov

Dear CM Siddaramiah,

Why exactly did you choose to celebrate Tippu Jayanthi?  And why on Deepavali day??  Did you intend it to be a snub to Hindus?  Did you intend it to be on a holiday wherein maximum people will have time for mischief?  Or did you think that the trouble will be contained considering Hindus will be busy celebrating the festival and they will be too lazy to protest?

Whatever your opinion of Tippu may be, whatever the psec textbooks may teach one thing that is clear that Tippu doesn’t have a clean reputation.  There are people who (may be rightly) think of him as a heroic fighter against the British; again there are an equal number of people who (again may be rightly) think of him as a butcher who converted people to Islam on the edge of the sword. Why did you want to associate yourself and the name of the great state of Karnataka with this controversial character?

What did you desire to achieve?  Consolidate the Muslim vote behind Congress?  Aren’t they already voting for you since they do not see any alternative?  Push the Hindu vote towards BJP?  Most Hindu’s are slowly feeling that there is no option but vote for the BJP if they want to survive on this planet.  Any body who had doubts and was veering towards you will also be pushed towards BJP with your actions – surely your loss?

What you have achieved is clear.  You have sown poisonous seeds for ever.  Now the next year there has to be a Tipu Jayanthi – better still if it co-incides with Deepavali.  Muslim organizations have to participate and celebrate the same.  Hindu organizations have to oppose it.  And all peace loving people have to put up with the non-sense.  This poison you have let loose will be around to kill people for a long time to come.  Kuttappa is only the first one in the unfortunate chain you have let loose.  RIP Kuttappa 😦

Finally where are the award-wapsi crowd – hello – there is a death here.  One community has killed a person of another.  Your hearts bled after Dadri – no more blood/tears left for a Hindu death?  And #pressititutes – Dadri hit the headlines for many many days – what happened to Kuttappa; and what about Prashanth Poojari?

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An aside : The old Mysore area was under Muslim rule only for a very small period of time, ie the father-son HyderAli-TippuSultan rule.  All the muslims (not a small number mind you) are people who have converted in that small period.  How is it possible to convert so many people without blood shed.

Awards returned by eminent (?) Indians to protest against the Government

30 Oct

A lot of very eminent (?) people including historians, filmmakers, scientists are returning their awards in order to oppose the current PM, his government, random crimes in the country, RSS – not necessarily in that order.  Everybody is entitled to have their point-of-view and has a democratic right to protest in whatever mode they choose to protest – as long as it is legal.  So, I do not want to quarrel with their respective right to “think” or act in a particular way as long as it is “legal”.

Thinking aloud – how does one return an award?

  • Do you go to the govt treasury and deposit the money that came with the award and then display the receipt to the press?  If yes, then do you include the interest to date along with the base amount?  Will you frame this receipt and hang it in place of the erstwhile plaque.
  • What about the plaque?  Does the government have a window where you can “return” your plaque and get a receipt?
  • What about all the biographies, publications and other places where you had mentioned something like “padma … awardee”.  Will you issue a retraction at all possible places? Will you now replace the words with “padma … returnee” going forward?

Ahhhhhh devil …. why didn’t I think of the details before going to scream in front of Arnab Goswami and Barkha Dutt?

RIP Kalburgi

1 Sep

It is sad that MM Kalburgi is dead.  It is shocking that he was killed.  It is absolutely shocking about how he was actually shot.  My condolences go out to the bereaved family.  Hope God gives them the strength to cope with the loss.

Also, I hope the perpetrators will be caught and punished swiftly.  These guys must be the real brains & brawns behind the act and not some stooges.

It feels very sad to say “but” in such a tragic context.  But there is a huuuge BUT.  Why do people like Kalburgi feel the need to espouse theories that are deeply hurtful to the majority Hindus of this country.  Is it really freedom of speech to talk about urinating on Hindu Idols?  Doesn’t your freedom end where my nose begins??

To repeat a well rehashed arguement – will these people dare to make similar statements against the Quran, or even the Bible?  These are people after their 15 seconds of fame talking against the soft people who are Hindu’s.  Occasionally one such killing happens (make no mistake every Hindu hangs his head in shame); unfortunately it is human nature that an aggressive fringe is always a part of any social setup including religion.

After Charlie Hebdo attach the paper decided to stop publishing anti islam caricatures … does it require similar voilence in India to stop these idiots like Kalburgi to be more measured in their beliefs.  Somebody teach these people that tolerance should mean tolerance practiced by self – not misusing the tolerance of others.

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